


I Want This One

by Consulting Carnation (reluctant_necromancer215)



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock - Fandom, Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Baby, F/M, Fem!Sherlock, Femlock, Fluff, Het Relationship, Pregnancy, het sex eventually maybe, they're straight for once lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 10:41:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6048486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reluctant_necromancer215/pseuds/Consulting%20Carnation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock Holmes is one of the most brilliant minds in the world, and certainly in London. What she isn't is a natural mother. So what happens when she finds out that her blogger is also the father of her child?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want This One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! First attempt at femlock, hope you all enjoy. Likely a one-shot, but it might have a sequal if y'all like it that much :) Just a note, not all of my fics will include pregnancy and/or kids! I promise!! That's just... The direction things are going right now. ALSO this was based on a fabulous rp on Omegle. I edited it quite a bit, but if you read this and think you're the one I was roleplaying with (I played Sherlock) please message me so I can give you proper co-author credit :3 Whoever you are, it was lovely and I am sorry you had to go.

It had started when Sherlock had called his phone, several times, followed by an urgent text demanding he come home immediately. There was no mention of a case, or of boredom as there usually was, which was concerning and let John’s mind to jump to all sorts of drastic worst-case scenarios. But deep down, he prayed his ridiculous girlfriend was just too lazy to reach her violin. John put his phone away and took a deep breath. It wouldn't be the first time Sherlock called him home for something inconsequential, but John didn't believe it this time. There was a weird urgency to this, and he just didn’t want to risk it. His shift had nearly been over anyway, so there was no harm in being careful. He was home only six minutes later -a new personal record, for him- and in his panic fumbled with the keys to get into the flat for several minutes. Once he finally unlocked the door, he deposited his shoes and coat at the door before nearly rushing up the stairs to find Sherlock. In his paranoia he half expected to find her bleeding out on the sofa, or in the middle of a firefight. The usual nonsense. "Sher?" He called out. 

Sherlock set her phone aside and let herself sink to the bathroom floor, curling her legs up against her chest and resting her head against her kneecaps. She felt, irrationally, that there was somehow not enough oxygen in the room, and that the walls were moving towards her. Classic symptoms of an anxiety attack, she knew that, but that didn't make it any easier. And it also didn't make it any easier to know that there was a logical reason she was panicking. She glared at the three tiny strips of plastic on the counter, all three displaying that treacherous little pink plus-sign. She looked up when she heard John enter the flat, letting out at attempt at words that came just short of legible, and sounded more like a distressed moan. "In the bathroom." She finally managed, burying her face in her folded arms.

His first sight was not the strips on the counter, but instead his girlfriend sobbing on the floor. ‘Fuck,’ John cursed internally, feeling his heart sink. He immediately went to her side, feeling panic grip him. He knew Sherlock, he knew she could handle any physical injury or adversity. So to see her this broken, this small and terrified… It scared him. His first instinct came into play. "Sherlock!? Sherlock, love, talk to me…" Christ, he hadn't ever seen her lose it like this before. Getting on his knees, he just put his arms around her and tried to keep her close. His grip was loose enough not to hurt her, but firm enough that she would know she was safe, and secure. "Hey, I'm right here. I'm right here, sweetheart, I've got you. You're completely fine, now, you're going to be fine." A kiss to the top of her head, smoothing her curls back from her face. "Just tell me what's wrong and I'll fix it, love, anything for you." John knew that he melted for Sherlock, and that he was making promises he might not be able to keep, but he couldn't quite bring himself to mind. "Just try to breathe for me."

Sherlock let herself be pulled into John's lap, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and taking several deep breaths of his familiar scent. He smelled like John, like tea and newsprint and the antiseptic of the clinic. Like home. "No, no.... Nothing is alright, this isn't /fine/..." She choked, shaking with nerves and feeling sick to her stomach. "We... We haven't... God, I don't even..." She trailed off, shaking her head and burying her face in the crook of his neck. "I don't know what to do." She murmured. Or feel. She didn't know what to feel either. Her heart was as tumultuous as her stomach, churning with a terrifying mixture of fear and nerves and hope and maybe even a touch of happiness. It was all tangled together into a hideous knot that she couldn’t quite sort through just yet. 

"Of course everything's going to be fine." John reassured her, putting his back against the bathroom cabinet and taking a deep breath. Sherlock wasn't exactly a short thing, but they both managed the height difference fairly well. "I love you more than anything in the world, more than I've ever loved anyone. And you, miracle of miracles, love me, too. Whatever it is, Sherlock, we're going to work it out, yeah? It's not the end of the world. We can work it out." One hand was going up and down her back as John calmed her down. "Just tell me what's wrong, love, so we can fix it together."

Sherlock clung to him, listening to the soothing cant of his words and feeling his strong hands rubbing her back gently. Everything he was saying was true, both emotionally and logically. They did love each other, very much. They had a lovely relationship. So... Theoretically, they could figure this out. They could talk about it, and decide what they wanted to do. Together. She took a deep breath, sitting up a bit so she could look at John. She blushed at her vulnerability, hating to seem so small and upset and /delicate/, and she wiped at her eyes in disdain. "John, I.... I'm pregnant." She finally forced the words out, looking him in the eyes and watching him closely for any hint of reaction.

Oh. /Oh/. John just stared at her for a few seconds, unable to comprehend. Those words didn't go together in a sentence; Sherlock and pregnant. They'd been careful enough. Very careful, actually. Sherlock was on the pill and John frequently took the initiative with protection, but... Well, Sherlock forgot and sometimes John forgot and if there'd been one or two times where they both forgot... She actually was pregnant. Pausing, he just stared at her, his eyes wide. He didn't look particularly happy. Or particularly angry, either, just incredibly shocked and surprised. "Fuck," he finally offered unhelpfully, his voice a little weak. "You are ... pregnant. You're sure you're pregnant? Of course you're sure, you're Sherlock bloody Holmes. Jesus Christ, you're... I can't... Fuck."

There wasn't any anger on John's face. Which was good, Sherlock supposed. However, there wasn't any happiness either. She wasn't sure what kind of reaction she'd expected from her boyfriend, but the lack thereof was concerning, to say the least. "Yes, I'm sure..." She said shakily, sitting up a bit straighter and running a hand through her riotous curls. "I took three tests, they're on the counter behind you. I'm sure, John. Judging from the date of my last ovulation cycle, I'd put us at about... Five weeks? Six at the most.”

"OK. Good. Not too far along, then." John could feel his legs start to go numb, a little. Taking a deep breath, he just brushed Sherlock's curls away from her own face so he could kiss her forehead gently. This wasn't something they'd talked about before. It just hadn't ever come up. When they started having sex, Sherlock had informed him, in her own matter of fact way, that she was on the pill, and that she wouldn’t be stopping it any time soon. So John had figured that bringing up the topic of children would result in a massive no from the detective. "Well," he stated. "We're gonna have to do something about this, then, yeah?" He said to her, trying to put on a bright face and a cheerful smile. "Can't exactly be something we ignore." He said with a forced chuckle.

Sherlock felt her heart sink. In her mind, before John had gotten home, Sherlock had been horrified at the idea of carrying a child. Of becoming a /mother./ That wasn't what she wanted, it wasn't what she'd ever wanted. But now... John was glad they weren't too far along. He wanted to 'do something' about it. He wanted an abortion. He hadn’t said as much, but she could tell. His smile was forced, his laughter artificial. He didn’t want this. Which was logical, obviously, since they'd never discussed it. They weren't in any place to have a baby. And yet.... She swallowed, eyes falling a bit. "I can make the appointment. You don't have to come with me if you don't want to. We can just forget it happened." She said stoically, being careful not to display any emotion.

Sherlock wanted to get rid of it. She wanted to get rid of the beautiful little life they’d made together. John was heartbroken, and not nearly as good at hiding his emotions as Sherlock was, so he visibly deflated in front of his girlfriend. "If ... if that's what you want, honey," he murmured softly, moving her against his chest and just shutting his eyes a little. Of course he'd always wanted kids. A real family, with the woman he loved. And of course now that he knew Sherlock was the one he'd be sticking around for the rest of his life-- it just hurt, a lot, to see her immediately dismiss the idea of them having a child together. "I just think…. We should probably talk about it, yeah? If you don't want to have a kid now, maybe ... maybe later? I know the concept of pregnancy isn't appealing to you, but how about kids? We could have a kid, some other way, if you didn't want to pregnant. Don't want to be."

Sherlock immediately pulled away once she heard John's words, once she saw the light leave his eyes and the excitement leave his posture. A happiness that she hadn't detected previously was suddenly absent from him, and she knew immediately she'd been wrong about what he wanted. "No! No, I mean, not /no/, but.... I thought that was what you wanted?" She said, looking at John and keeping her arms wrapped around him. Her mask had fallen, revealing confusion and fear and nervousness and... Hope? Happiness? She didn't even know. Sherlock was normally terrible at handling her emotions, and the ball of hormones residing in her uterus made it even more difficult. "I thought... I thought that was what you wanted. It's not what I... We can talk." She said quietly, voice cracking.

Sherlock looked terrified. Frowning a little, John reached forward and let his hand rest against her neck. "Hey… Deep breathes, love. Calm. Yeah? You are, without contest, the most beautiful and intelligent woman in London," he informed her firmly. "And I know for a fact I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you, every last second of it. Of course I want a baby with you, Sherlock, and well, I'd like it to be this baby. If you don't want it to be this baby, or any baby, that's fine -- this isn't something we can go half and half on, Sherlock. We both have to want this. And if you don't, then we don't. But I ... well. I really, really want to keep this one." Leaning forward, he kissed her lightly, as if reassuring her of his love for her, regardless of how this ended. “But I love you, so much. And this is your body, and your choice.” 

Sherlock was speechless -hell, /breathless/- as she listened to John. It wasn't until her mind registered the lips against hers, and the slight sadness in John's eyes, that she snapped out of her own thoughts and focused on her boyfriend. And on the tiny life currently residing in her belly. "I..." She swallowed, licking her lips nervously. "I think I want it to be this one too. It's not... I can't already be attached to it. That's not possible, I didn't even know it existed until two hours ago. And yet...." She felt a small, shaky smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "I want it to be this one." She said, looking him in the eyes.

John just blinked at her for a few seconds, sure that he chad misunderstood somehow, or that Sherlock would suddenly change her mind. He wanted to interrogate her - to ask if she was sure, that it was a lot of responsibility, that it just might be hormones ... but he didn't. Instead, a wide smile overtook his face and almost knocked her over as he pulled her into his arms. "Oh, my god, love! I… Christ. If you’re sure, then…. Wow.” He beamed, pressing tender kisses over her face and lips. “We’re having a baby.” He grinned, cupping her face gently. “You beautiful, incredible woman, you.” 

Sherlock could see the doubt in John's eyes, but it was quickly replaced with one of the most beautiful smiles she'd ever seen. It was infectious, and she couldn't stop it from spreading to her own face. She laughed a bit as he held her close, leaning her forehead against his. "I... Am terrified." She laughed, smiling nervously. "But... This is going to be an adventure, that's for certain. And we've done so much. We've gotten through so much. I don't think I'm being overly optimistic in thinking that we can handle this." She said, looking down at her flat -for now- stomach. "We can handle this." She repeated, mostly to herself.

“Of course we can, darling.” John agreed, humming in contentment as he pressed a kiss to her hair. “You’re going to be a brilliant mother, I just know it. You already care for this child so much, you said so yourself. I know it’s soon, but that little one is growing inside you. You two already have such an intimate connection. I’m a bit jealous.” He admitted with a smirk. She smiled at him, rolling her eyes at his sentimentality. "We'll see if you're so jealous when I'm vomiting and aching, hm?" She teased, kissing him tenderly. "I love you too. So much. And I know you'll be a natural father." John beamed, soaking in the fact that he, John Watson, was going to be a father. He reached down, tentatively pressing his hand against her belly, imagining the day when there would be a small, sweet swell there. A day that would come far sooner than either of them had imagined.


End file.
